The Two Nos - the secret to business success

Firstly, how comfortable are you with the word no?

Secondly, which no makes you more wobbly than the other?

What do I mean 'which no'?

There are in fact two nos - the two nos that equate to the secret of success in your business:

1. The no you receive from a customer or client

2. The no you give to yourself

The first of the two nos

I'm guessing that the first no is the one you will be more familiar with.

The moment when a member of your audience (a potential client perhaps) declines the wonderful offer you have just presented them. It can be a hard thing to hear.

We often that rejection personally. And that's not a pleasant feeling. So, we do our best to avoid these nos.

We only ask, when we think we're guaranteed a yes

But there is no such thing as a guaranteed yes. So, we delay, we procrastinate, we faff and fuss around our offer until we think it is a perfect as it can be (who could possibly say no, right?) and then we apologetically put it out there. Once. Because any more than that would be 'sales-y'.

There are a couple of essential things to remember about this first no:

1. It is a no to the product, not to the person (I.e. it's not about you)

2. That person in front of you has all sorts of thoughts going through their head too. One of those may be that they're not ready to work with you, they're not good enough to work with you, they don't have time to work with you. They are making it about them... not you (perfectly natural and incredibly common)

3. A no give you permission to go after the next yes. One thing more disappointing than a clean no is a lingering thread of 'maybe later'. It keeps you dangling whilst (again) that person in front of you prepares to overcome their own indecision. in addition to not being ready, deserving etc... they're paralysed by not wanting to hurt your feelings. Let them cut the thread. Emotionally it's better for them and, more importantly it frees you up to move on (and stop wondering 'what if')

The second no

The no you should be saying to yourself.

This is the space in which you set your boundaries, stay true to your values and keep aligned to your vision. Why this no is absolutely essential:

1. You free up your own brain space to focus only on what serves you and let go of the shiny distractions of tempting threads (threads like the one mentioned above).

2. This is you breaking clean, setting yourself free and (just as kind) letting the person, project or opportunity in front of you know that they can also move on and start work on their next yes. As such (and in many ways), it is the mirror to the first no.

Practise saying no

Give thought to one thing in your diary this week that you should say no to – something that takes up time but adds no real value. Maybe it's something you agreed to so as not to offend someone else. Or it's something you feel an obligation to but no real passion for.

What will you get back by letting this activity go?

Secondly, go get a clean, simple no.

• Ask the question you have been too hesitant to ask

• Approach that person you have been hesitating to approach

• Press 'publish' on the post or email you've been putting off sending

It's a guaranteed no if you never take action

That's the ONLY guarantee within your business.

A no is permission to move on...

Also... it might just be a yes.