"Stop hitting yourself!"

Do you remember that kid at school?

The one who would grab your wrist and make you thump yourself on the head whilst gleefully suggesting that you "stop hitting yourself" over and over again.

They didn't mean any harm. It was just a bit of fun (from their point of view). Something to make the other kids laugh. They never realised it might bother you or might stay with you after the event...

Stop hitting yourself

We each have an inner voice that whispers criticisms, introduces reasons to hesitate and creates a consistently unhelpful air of ongoing self-doubt.

That inner dialogue is a bit like the 'bigger kid' grabbing your wrist.

It doesn't mean any harm. Quite the opposite. It's trying to keep you safe. It has identified your latest idea, wish, brave step forward, as something that might just create 'danger'.

Maybe you tried something like that before, and it made you uncomfortable.

"Let's not put you through that again"

... it kindly suggests.

The problem is that it's misread the brief. It's decision around what is or isn't 'dangerous' to you, has been formed from perspectives, decisions and meanings that you have long associated with certain situations.

Perspectives that, with some empathic reflection, could be updated. Such as:

• Giving a 10-min presentation to a room of people doesn't have to terrify you

• The dream client you've been talking to won't suddenly block you if you dare tell them how you can make their lives better

• Charging people what you're actually worth (rather than what you think they can afford) won't make you look greedy or selfish

• ... Add your own one here (mine is "When someone says no, I don't have to take it personally!")

I stopped being stuck...

In previous blogs, I mentioned my new 'Stop Being Stuck' coaching package.

I did a naughty (and very un-Mark) thing though and, instead of waiting until everything was perfect (so I could send out the slick emails and share links to seamless landing pages and all that fancy jazz*), I just went out and talked a bit about it... and people loved it.

I'm booked out until late November!

What is it?

'Stop Being Stuck' is a half-day coaching conversation (and follow-up) in which you grab the big kid's hand and say "no more":

• It's challenging your unhelpful perspectives

• It's shaking off the shackling beliefs that have kept you from enjoying 'just the right amount of danger'

• It is a literal neurochemical hug that will stop your inner critic from 'hitting yourself'

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I promised no sales-y spammy nonsense in these emails and I am true to my word. But I want you to know that the option to let go of your negative self-talk is there, if you ever fancy a chat.

*The fancy jazz will come. It will be on my website shortly, and you are welcome to take a look as and when you are ready to stop being stuck.

I'm here for you.