This post might also include the most unpleasant picture you see today - sorry about that.
Have you ever talked yourself out of an opportunity because you felt you didn’t deserve it…
Have you ever felt you weren’t good enough or weren’t ready…
True story
I am a drummer. I’ve played for almost 40yrs and… I am bloody good! I am a way better drummer than I ever was at graphic design, marketing, business strategy, leadership development and all the other “normal” things I made a career out of.
I’ve had pros tell me “I’m the drummer they always dreamed of playing with”. I’ve played in the West End (🦁👑!) and performed at some pretty sizeable festivals.
But I never stood a chance of “making it” and the reason for this is my right foot. I play bass drum with it - it is the anchor to my playing. And due to anxiety & lack of self belief, if I start overthinking what I am playing, my foot seizes up.
At first I thought it was something physical. In 2000 I had exams and treatments to see if there was something going on. There wasn’t. Then I had hypnotherapy which revealed that I had a chronic fear of failure - BINGO we hit the sweet spot.
Turns out that a mindset of limiting beliefs can manifest as physical symptoms - by overthinking my playing, I was tensing my entire leg and missing beats - my foot was ‘proving’ that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t even know that could be a thing!
The solution?
I could practise more. Build muscle memory. Turn good playing into an unbreakable habit. Get to the point where my technique was bulletproof (It couldn’t hurt to try)… Except that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I was telling myself that no matter how good I got, I’d never be good enough.
The ‘cure’ would only come from changing my mindset.
Step one - build a body of evidence. Remember and capture all the times I was good enough. Believe and be grateful for the all the compliments (rather than dismiss them). Appreciate how the audience react. Picture all the times when I’m on stage and my bandmates are grinning at me because we are on fire!
Step two - present the evidence to myself every time I wobble (23 years later I still wobble).
It turns out that when I tell myself I am good enough, I play better. I can actually talk myself out of a wobble whilst playing and find the groove again. I can turn a bad gig into a good one simply by making that choice.
Why am I telling you this?
A I asked before... have you ever talked yourself out of an opportunity because you felt you didn’t deserve it? Have you ever felt you weren’t good enough or weren’t ready?
As you can see - me too (confession - I still slip back occasionally), so I have walked your walk.
Secondly, I’ve spent 22 years using my experiences to help hundreds of people face down those fears and find happiness.
I’ve only shared this story once before today…
I am ready! I can help you “play a great gig”.
Let’s chat.
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