Building a body of evidence

When working with people, I talk a lot about how our fears are stories that we have been telling ourselves for so long, that they have become our truth. But those stories are not only untrue, they also overlook the body of evidence that proves (beyond reasonable doubt) just how capable and competent we really are.

There is another story that exists within our lives that captures the brief, brave moments we do something extraordinary, unexpected... beyond the comfort zone limits our brain has delineated for us:

• Moments we said yes without thinking

• Moments we still said yes, even after thinking

Dismissing the Fears

This evidence should be enough to dismiss those pesky fears... Oops, I just used the ‘D-word’ in that previous sentence and, if I’m completely honest, dismiss feels like a bit of a misrepresentation in terms of what we’re about to explore in this blog.

Let’s begin with a harsh reality. To permanently dismiss The Four Fears^®, we’d have to unpick thousands of years of evolution. Millennia of beliefs our brain has been programmed to trust and reinforce, in terms of what 'danger' looks like (even though 'danger' is very different in 2026 than it was caveman times).

As spelt out on the cover of my book, my goal is always to move you to a place where you’re able to Embrace The Fears and put them in their place if and when they pop up. We’re talking improved 'bouncebackability' (great word) – the opportunity to reduce the size and impact of those hesitations as and when they crop up.

So, I stand by my choice of words – dismiss is okay because we’re saying to The Fear, in that moment, “I no longer believe you to be true, logical, or helpful. As such, I do not accept you – you have no place in my head right now.”

Building a body of evidence

The confidence to say "not today" to The Fears comes from encouraging your brain to notice the body of evidence and accept its verdict, more often than the shortcut decision of "it's too dangerous".

Noticing your brief, yet brave moments of Victory is an essential habit. Flexing that habit (and reducing the brevity) can be as simple as three things:

1. When something goes right, write it down

2. When something doesn't go wrong, write that down too

3. When something does go wrong, ask yourself what would your best friend say to you about the experience and write THAT down

You are better at this than you think

If you keep one sentiment from my book in your back pocket, make it the above. And it’ll form the backbone to your case for the defence when your Fears (re)surface.

In the book, we actually DO take your Fears to court. We look at the key characters, the evidence (logically and factually – emotion should not sway opinion in a court of law), and, ultimately, accept the judge's verdict.

This exercise is available in the resources section: go give it a try (and let me know how you get on). As it says above – you are better at this than you think... you just need to start noticing the wins more often than the dangers. Mark Franklin is The Four Fears^® Guy: a transformational mindset coach, speaker and author working with creative professionals and small business owners who are ready to close the gap between the business they have and the one they actually deserve.